Joy Comes in Little Packages Sometimes

My heart is full of joy these days -- we brought home another dog to make a life with us and both my daughters have moved home for the summer. The house was so empty when Indiana died. And we thought with spring, it's a nice time to begin anew. So the little puppy in my blog photo is busy filling our hearts...and chewing his way through our shoes, computer cords, and whatever else the little scamp can make away with. His favorite pastime in the house is walking along the edges of the sofa and jumping and running amuck. In-between he sleeps -- thank goodness! a little peace before he's up and running. For now he's a little guy, and he's growing very fast! His name is Sundance and we call him Sunny for short. And yes, we got another golden retriever. My daughters love to pick him up and cuddle - that's the photo up above. Although he is a little scamp, whenever he's picked up, he settles down and relaxes for a bit before he's running or chewing again. The picture in my blog title is when he was 6 weeks old - his grandpa Joel took the picture.

Spring and puppies

Beautiful scent of Korean Spice Virburnum

I have this beautiful bush planted under my dining room window next to our deck and one of my favorite things in the spring is to open the windows and enjoy the lovely scent  as it fills my house.

There is nothing prettier than this pink bleeding hearts bush in the spring.

The tree peony that I planted last summer is in full bloom.

what follows next is the story of a cherry tree

First, as it is bursting forth in bloom

Second, on a windy day as the blossoms blow away in the wind (see the petals as little dots in the photo?)

And third, as they blanket the ground below before the wind whisks them up into the air again

Traveling Down a Different Road

My thoughts are often found meandering down the years as this last year of my kids in college comes to a close. My anthem song for the past 5 years has been Neil Young's empty nest song "Here for You" as I've said good-bye to them every fall. I realize college was a path I wanted for them to help them prepare for the world out there and have one last foot in their childhood. It was also for me to learn to let go and embrace the empty nest as an okay place to be. My youngest graduates in May. But still I hear Neil's song in my head and in some way, my old heart will always keep beating for my children who are the songs in my heart

Here's a link that plays the song -- it doesn't install anything, just offers the mp3 to listen to. 

http://popup.lala.com/popup/360569475235803874

and here are the lyrics to the song
When your summer days come tumbling down
And you find yourself alone
Then you can come back and be with me
Just close your eyes and I'll be there
Listen to the sound
Of this old heart beating for you
Yes I'd miss you
But I never want to hold you down
You might say I'm here for you
When the winter comes to your new home
And snowflakes are falling down
Then you can come back and be with me
Just close your eyes and I'll be there
Listen to the sound
Of this old heart beating for you
Yes I'd miss you
But I never want to hold you down
You might say I'm here for you

In the spring, protective arms surrounding you
In the fall, we let you go your way
Happiness I know will always find you
And when it does, I hope that it will stay
Yes I miss you
But I never want to hold you down
You might say I'm here for you
Yes I miss you
But I never want to hold you down
You might say I'm here for you
I'll always be here for you

Charlie Chaplin is my hero

A friend who is very dear to me, always seems to share some one thing on a regular basis that makes me stop and think. I feel like my life is in it's last decade and I want to make a change that is more than just a job. Course it helps that I no longer have a job and find myself in this limbo land of not feeling very secure, and more to the point, feeling that time is running out and if I want to find my joy now that I am no longer raising my children, perhaps now I should explore that option. But how do I start?? That's where my friend comes in -- she's pointed me in the direction of a life change coach, Ariane de Bonvoisin. First, I really like her name -- it's very lyrical. But the title of her blog and her book, is something I need to make some decisions about so this is all very timely and appropos to contemplate right now. Her title? It is 'First 30 Days'.

The best place for me to contemplate is sitting in my rusty beach chair with my toes in the water. Mama Ocean works her magic and life takes on clarity. Unfortunately, there is still over a foot of snow on the ground and strong winds are blowing. I will make do with getting cozy with a warm mug of tea and staying warm indoors.

So I'm taking some positive steps -- I ordered her book and tapes from half.com and reading her blog. And in her blog I found some words by Charlie Chaplin that I've read before but had forgotten. Thus, the title of my blog. Here is an excerpt -- I want to keep the words close by for now. And maybe like my friend passed me the tip to read Ariane, you will find something to share as well.

From Ariane:
A friend of mine, Kerstin, sent this to me. It’s the speech that Charlie Chaplin gave on his 70th birthday. I found it beautiful and ever so true.

As I Began to Love Myself

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY.”
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call it “RESPECT.”
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “Maturity,”
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE.”
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it “SIMPLICITY.”
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health—
food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF,”
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is “MODESTY.”
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT,”
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART.”
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!
Please pass this onto your friends and family. This is a special reminder of what life is trying to teach us, what it’s really about, what we eventually all come to learn. Be gentle on yourself and light on life. No more disapproval of self. It’s the biggest obstacle to your dreams. Doing so, you’ll be able to access all that happiness and joy that is just below that inner critical voice.

This is syndicated from First 30 Days Blog, and written by Ariane de Bonvoisin.
http://www.first30days.com/blog/main/2010/02/life-lessons-from-charlie-chaplin/

Life is a Journey, but....

I tried to catch a falling star
And instead fell off the world
Climbing back on is teaching me
New paths to take
Moments to cherish
...And I'm still trying to catch the darn star!

My Golden, Indiana

Around Thanksgiving we found out our dear dog had cancer. We hoped it hadn't metastisized - the x-rays looked good - so we scheduled surgery to remove the tumor from his spleen. The results came back 7 days later as carcinosarcoma and the cancer had spread to his liver. Two weeks after that our dear boy died. We are heartbroken and miss him so much. For us, the lights aren't as bright this Christmas.